the Centrist

I Hate Being Wrong

I hate being wrong. Anybody that knows me, knows that is true. So when Rev. Billy Graham visited Russia a decade or so ago, I was vocal in my criticism. I railed against the visit: “Doesn’t be know how many millions of Christians have lost their lives because of that regime? The USSR is truly an evil Empire, why give them any credibility.”
Truth be known, that was before blogs and I did write an editorial or two to that very effect. But he was right, and I was wrong. Rev. Graham was looking forward, and I backward. He understood that there was nothing that could be done for those poor souls killed by the ‘Evil Empire’, but that many souls remained, and were in need of ministry. The proof of his actions was that soon that empire went the way of most wickedness and disintegrated under the weight of its own totalitarian yoke. The Rev. Graham knew that the potential harvest was more important than lost souls.
I guess St. Augustine put it best in about 330 AD (give or take a few decades): “I just cannot find what criterion to apply in deciding which persons should be chosen to be saved by grace. I would instinctively choose those with better intelligence or less sin, or both; I should add I suppose, a sound and proper education. As soon as I decide that, He will laugh me to scorn.” As I am certain He did me, as I railed against, what turned out to be the salvation of millions.
God Bless you Billy, and your ministry… for tuning into God’s Will before you act or speak. And for the record, even though I still hate being wrong, I am glad I was wrong this time.

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Lighter Side

Kaybob keeps us laughing with this one;

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, ‘You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.’

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night… One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him..

She quietly called him over to her..

‘Unbutton my blouse and take it off,’ she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

‘Now take off my boots.’ He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

‘Now take off my stockings.’ He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

‘Now take off my skirt.’ He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

‘Now take off my bra.’ Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor..

Then she looked at him and said, ‘If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.’

Hey, just what were you thinking?

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The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers…

Phyllis stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband,
Bob, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they
could Help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Bob must have experienced.

“Bob was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every
move caused him terrible pain.

We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it
turned out they were able to piece together the crushed
remnants of Bob’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Bob.

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, thank the Lord, Bob is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, “I’m Bob.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”
Grammy Sammie

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The One (1) Question Test
This test only has one question, but it’s a very
important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover
where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely,
completely fictional situation in which you will have to
make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to
be honest, yet spontaneous.

THE SITUATION
You are in Florida , Miami to be specific. There
is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe
flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a
photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re
caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is
nearly hopeless. You’re trying to shoot career-making
photos. There are houses and people swirling around
you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is
unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man and a woman in the
water. They are fighting for their lives, trying not to be
taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow
they look familiar.

You suddenly realize who they are. It’s Barack Obama & Nancy Pelosi.
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take them under forever.

You have two options: You can save their lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the deaths of two of the world’s most powerful people.
Here’s the question & please give an honest answer….

Would you select High Contrast Color film or would you go with the classic simplicity of Black & White?

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Marvelous marcel sends us these next two:

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?

This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”

Pelosi replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped her!

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Why parents drink
(7 hours ago)
A father
passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely
made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than
I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt
anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your
Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report
card That’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home