Medical Update

Well, as the saying goes there’s good news and bad news.  The good news is that the aortic aneurism is not degenerating or dissecting.  It looks intact and the vessel appears uncompromised at this time.  The actual size is still being debated… but likely it is moderate.

My blood pressure is the major method of controlling it, as well as losing weight… ugh.

The bad news is that it could not be in a worse location.  It is right at the junction of the heart itself: an ‘ascending arch aneurism’.   Should it need repair… it can only be done in an ‘open’ fashion, and it is at the junction where the coronary arteries exit the aorta and nourish the heart.  Add to that the major vessels to the head (brain), neck, and shoulders in proximity, thus you have a real surgical challenge.  This of course is complicated by unresolved cancer.  We have what you might call a dilemma.

From time to time I must admit I do get a bit melancholy.   After all over the past year it seems my medical history has become some kind of cruel joke.  I have even considered shaking my wimpy hand at heaven and asking why?  But each time I contemplate that inane act; somebody comes along and loves me.

The other day it was a note of encouragement from a friend of Rand’s… someone I would be proud to call son…. someone I have come to love over the years.  He has gone through his own Armageddon, but rarely complained.  He wrote and let me know he loved me.  Add to that a friend who brought me fresh lox and brotherly love, as well as calls and offers of help from so many concerned friends and relatives.

For instance, another friend, who is a surgical nurse, stepped in and spent most of her day trying to expedite my treatment options.

Yesterday Marilyn handed me a card, a simple cardboard paper with words on it… but it was from a former patient.  A person I have known for over 25 years.  A Christian who wants to actually visit, just to talk, just to express her love… these acts are Christ in action.

Today I met with my doctor and he reviewed options, did more tests, and sent me off to a mutual radiologist friend.  Dr Ken is Jewish, and he said in his own unique way: “you will just have to remain calm.”

I told him, “It is no more possible for an Italian to stay calm, as it is for a Jew to stop worrying.”

He understood.

But ultimately it is not the love shown by friends and relatives which sustains me… although it certainly encourages me, what sustains me is the Cross of Calvary.

As I look at the cross, I see it occupied.  A tortured body hanging there, suspended, not by nails, but by love… a love so passionate and personal, it must be embraced to be understood.  While my protestant friends sometimes shun the crucifix, I am drawn to it.  When it is shunned, the works completed on it are trivialized.

One should not contemplate trading the crucifix of Good Friday for the empty grave of Easter Sunday.  That is like embracing your mother, while simultaneously ignoring your father.  The sixth commandment says Honor Your Father and Mother, not father or mother.

So, when I contemplate my fight to live, I must embrace the God who created me.  What He has done for me eternally is so much more than living a few more years.  Don’t get me wrong, I will fight with every last breath in my body to live on and continue in ministry.  But if it is my time, I hope to embrace it, like I embrace Him.

Therefore, when I feel put upon because of the crosses I have been asked to bear, when I see my family name denigrated by the world politic for the gain of the ultra-wealthy power brokers in Erie County, when I worry about what is to become of my wonderful wife when I am gone, then I remember the true power of the universe… love.

John  3;16 simply and concisely states: “ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” What more can I ask, but what He has done?  To live eternally, is so much grander than to extend life a few more years.  But make no mistake, I will attempt both.

Finally, my missionary friends the Whitikers reminded me of Ps 84:5-8 NLT:

5 Happy are those who are strong in the LORD, who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,  it will become a place of refreshing springs, where pools of blessing collect after the rains!

7 They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.  

8 O LORD God Almighty, hear my prayer. Listen, O God of Israel

Love and appreciation,

Dr B